I had an interesting encounter while out and about in the nightlife of San Francisco. I was having a drink alone and a couple of guys came to my table to chat with me. They were both boyfriends and were on a date. One guy, nicknamed Nyan, was about 35 years old and worked as a waiter. The boyfriend, nicknamed Nyuu, was a guy in his early 20s who just finished his masters in medicine and worked as a medical researcher. Now trust me, the story definitely gets juicy so bare with me while I go over the basic details.
These two guys have been going out for about 5 years and were madly in love. They had nicknames for each other, both paid for their drinks, and kept doing public displays of affection. It wasn’t until Nyuu left the table that Nyan started to chat with me. Nyan leaned over to me and said:
“You don’t remember me do you?”
Of course I was a bit shocked because I’m usually really good with faces. But even after he said it, I still had no idea who he was. Nyan started to tell me where we met, which was 4 years ago, and what we did. Basically he and I have hooked up before, but that was 4 years ago. And he has been with his boyfriend for 5 years. Which means, he was dating Nyuu while he and I chatted and hooked up. I finally remembered who he was, and I have to say the years have not been kind to him. He definitely aged a lot in those 5 years, and boosted my ego that I still looked great.
Where am I going with this story?
Well, Nyan was clearly telling me he and I have hooked up before, because he knows even if I said anything to Nyuu, Nyuu wouldn’t believe me. And it made me empathize with Nyuu. Nyuu was a very smart man with his masters, a loving family, so much ambition and hope, so much positive energy, only to be taken advantage of by someone else. And no matter how much education and experience he has, he still isn’t smart enough to deal with the reality of people. And Nyan knew this. Nyuu wanted this relationship to be so real and trusting that he is willing to not pay attention to the details.
When Nyuu came back to the table, I acted the same as before I knew that he and I have been with the same person. I couldn’t really do or say much anyways to warn him. All I could do is observe and analyze. I figured they must be in an open relationship, but was corrected when Nyuu said they weren’t and that they would never ever dream of being with another person other than each other.
While I believe Nyuu is committed, it was obvious Nyan was not.
Nyuu, was a really good person. Too good that he doesn’t know when he is being made a fool of. Who knows how many times Nyan has betrayed him. But in all honesty, I don’t feel bad for Nyuu. He should be old enough to analyze his own situation. His friends should be there for him warning him to not trust people so easily. He wants love so bad that he is willing to be blind to what is happening. Nyan even texted me afterwards to see if I wanted to meet up after Nyuu goes to sleep. I happily declined. I’ve been with him before and it wasn’t that fun. I doubt 4 years has changed his method.
Bad things really do happen to good people. while this isn’t the best example, it is still that. An example of what being kind hearted and naive can bring. I wish Nyuu the absolute best on his journey. He will eventually find someone who will treat him with the respect he deserves. As for Nyan, he will lose out on many great opportunities on happiness if he doesn’t change his whole bad boy act. While Nyuu is stupid enough to fall for it, others can see through it.
Always make others earn trust. Don’t trust so easily. If trust is broken, leave it broken and move on. Learn from when you lose trust. Trust yourself. Know best.